Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
one two three fourrrrnication!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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