yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
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well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
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Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.