Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.