We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
