Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
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He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
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Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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