so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?