He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
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He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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