the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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