3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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