My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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