he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize