It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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