You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize