Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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