You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
well most of my day revolves around power hour
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
