In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I bet he comes in French.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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