I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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