She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
