your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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