You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
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She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
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I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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