Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
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Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
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God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.