I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
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he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
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So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.