Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I puked a lego.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.