I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
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I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
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my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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