is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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