Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.

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  (612): On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait. http://tfl.nu/48a7
  Replies (2) Good night (495) Bad night (1681) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"

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  (972): Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88" http://tfl.nu/q0w3
  Replies (58) Good night (4679) Bad night (521)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.

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  (970): you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake. http://tfl.nu/y1g9
  Replies (18) Good night (920) Bad night (4407) Order T-Shirt
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  (559): View more from California

  You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.

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  (559): You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community. http://tfl.nu/nzga
  Replies (21) Good night (5681) Bad night (659) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous

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  (949): if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous http://tfl.nu/ia7j
  Replies (28) Good night (8887) Bad night (933)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now

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  (306): We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now http://tfl.nu/pjjq
  Replies (23) Good night (3743) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.

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  (630): my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out. http://tfl.nu/fs1q
  Replies (15) Good night (1156) Bad night (4628) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers

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  (858): for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers http://tfl.nu/nh9s
  Replies (19) Good night (4072) Bad night (1466) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.

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  (303): So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay. http://tfl.nu/vqqs
  Replies (8) Good night (1635) Bad night (518)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.

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  (972): He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex. http://tfl.nu/pe6j
  Replies (6) Good night (1087) Bad night (395) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday

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  (616): She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday http://tfl.nu/c1kw
  Replies (5) Good night (1058) Bad night (410) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again

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  (773): my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again http://tfl.nu/3fhf
  Replies (3) Good night (280) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.

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  (307): He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style. http://tfl.nu/qafz
  Replies (6) Good night (964) Bad night (172) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."

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  (817): one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog." http://tfl.nu/q8wu
  Replies (8) Good night (272) Bad night (799)
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  (+45): View more from Denmark

  Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?

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  (+45): Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction? http://tfl.nu/7i71
  Replies (18) Good night (682) Bad night (992) Order T-Shirt

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