Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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