Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
