Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
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Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
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it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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