That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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