its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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