just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
i've created a new STD.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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