I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
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Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
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When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Dick very happy bro