ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.