I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.