as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.