I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU