at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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