I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
