Duck Duck Cougar?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
