I wanna passion pit in your ass
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize