my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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