last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize