i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize