Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
