this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
