it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
