brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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