My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
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dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
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sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize