i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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