It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Randomize
