please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Success! We fucked roommates!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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