you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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