final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize