Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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