My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
