think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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